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Mom is quizzing our 4-year-old on letter sounds.
Mom: What sound does "f" make?
4 YO: fff
Mom: Good. Can you tell me a word with an F in it?
4 YO: Uh huh. Kenneff!
Mom: Um. Well..... what sound does "p" make?
4 YO: Puh Puh.
Mom: Good. Can you tell me a word that starts with P?
4 YO: Pecause!
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3 Year Old: Mom, I am three. I can potty train my own self. I will show you I can wear underwear. I am big and I can eat hammerhead sharks.
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4 Year old Daughter: YOU ARE A PRINCE!
3 Year old Son: Prince Henry died when he got sucked into a tornado!
4 Year old Daughter: No, you are the prince.
3 Year old Son: *falls down dead*
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Stuffed Olaf: Who's the funky looking donkey over there?
2 year old: Caleb, and he's not very nice.
Stuffed Olaf: Why are you hanging off the Earth like a bat?
2 year old: Because I am a talking Caleb.
Stuffed Olaf: My name is Olaf and I like warm hugs.
2 year old: Well I'm never gonna give you a hug EVER AGAIN!
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4 year old: Julia is almost a mom, right?
Mom: Right now she is a teenager. When she is an adult she can get married, and then later become a mom.
4 year old: But it is getting pretty close, right?
Mom: Julia probably won't be a mom until....
4 year old: September?
Mom: No. Until you are at least 10 or 11.
4 year old: What!? I wish it was September.
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Mom: Pluto is a dwarf planet.
2 year old: Pluto is a doggie.
4 year old: The dwarfs are friends with Snow White!
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2 year old: I am the grinch..... and I stole Christmas.
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4 Year Old: Dragons are real animals, not pretend. They just don't live in Utah. It's too cold for them.
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We were watching Beauty and The Beast. Belle and the Beast kiss. our 10 year old daughter looks embarrassed. our 4 year old daughter says, "Kissing on the lips isn't gross. I do it all the time!"
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2 Year Old: Moms make me sick.
Mom: *looks at him questioningly*
2 Year Old: They do!
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Mom: Brush your teeth.
8 Year Old: I can't. Aaliyah is in there..... and I am afraid of her.... cuz she has.... enthusiasm.
Mom: Do you know what enthusiasm means?
8 Year Old: No.
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8 Year Old Son: If you want a pet mouse then you should help me convince Mom to get a pet snake. Then we could have lots and lots of pet mice.
6 Year Old Son: But we couldn't really keep the mice.
8 Year Old Son: But we would always be getting a new pet mouse.
4 Year Old Daughter: I want a pet unicorn!
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3 year old: I couldn't find my coloring book so I just drew on my face... with my markers.
Mom: Let's see if we can wash it off.
3 year old: No! I need to look like a dinosaur so I can rawr at people! And scare them all away!
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4 year old: I figured out why Caleb keeps getting in to cleaning chemicals! He knows how to open the closet where they are!
Mom: Yup. He's a pretty smart kid.
4 year old: Ya..... but I'm the smarter kid, right?
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4 year old: I think Aunt Julia is so sad that she didn't get to play in the snow.
2 year old: What!? Bad guys didn't let Aunt Julia play in the snow? I will say "No No!" to those bad guys and smack them with a sword till they are dead! Cuz I not want Aunt Julia to be sad.
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2 year old: Today I want to do fireworks.
6 year old: We can't do fireworks. It isn't near Shalice's birthday.
Mom: We do fireworks in July.
2 year old: Well it's July to meee!
*a few minutes later*
2 year old: We can't do fireworks?
Mom: Right.
2 year old: Okay. Let's go trick or treating.
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Mom teaching our 2 year old how to apply pressure to a cut.
2 Year Old: Is this called apply pressure? In real life? I thought it called a napkin.
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2 year old: I am bleeding! I cut myself with a steak knife!
Mom: What!? Why were you touching a knife?
2 year old: I just cutting myself more celery.
Mom: You're not big enough to use a steak knife.
2 year old: Oh. Am I only a little bit big?
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Our 4 year old and 2 year old are putting on a play for Mom. Our 4 year old is Belle and our 2 year old is the Beast:
4 year old: You can't marry the princess until you get a diaper change.
2 year old: No! Now I not want marry you!
4 year old: If you don't get a diaper change, I will marry Cocoa (the dog) instead. He isn't as stinky.
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4 Year Old: Do you know what I want for my birthday and Christmas? Just babies and Arbys.
Mom: Arbys??
4Year Old: Ya, I like Arbys because they look like princesses.
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The Pocahontas story as read by our 6 year old:
Some of the Asian men were greedy and mean. Pocahontas' tribe wanted the Asian men to leave. The Asian men sailed away.
Mom: Uh.... that says Englishmen.
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Mom: Daddy and I were born in the 1980's.
6 year old: Oh! Was that the same year as the second World War!?
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6 year old: An airplane!
8 year old: That's no airplane. That's Leonardo Davinci's invention of the great bird.
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6 year old: Is Aunt Laura coming today?
Mom: No, because..
4 year old: But, she didn't come last week either.
Mom: Last week we were up in Park City with her. She isn't coming today because...
3 year old: She died from cancer!
6 year old: What!?
Mom: No! Because today isn't Thursday.
All kids: Oh.
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3 year old's first joke:
3 year old: Knock, knock
8 year old: Who's there?
3 year old: Horsie
8 year old: Horsie who?
3 year old: MOOOOOO!
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